the march badness tournament bracket
This Google Sheets bracket is the most up-to-date one for the tournament as it goes.
A fillable blank bracket is available here via Google Sheets if you’d like to do your own.
& here’s the version with the writers who will be writing the essays:
the methodology
The Official March Badness Selection Committee assembled 128 songs that met Badness criteria (inclusions must have hit the top 5 of the Billboard Hot 100, 1970-1989, and must be songs that are bad along multiple axes of badness; we also included some songs that are generally considered to be bad or appear on many Bad lists even though we thought they were good). We did a lottery for the 64 spots in the tournament, and writers whose numbers were drawn got to select their choice of song off the 128-deep long list. Only the 64 songs selected will be in the tournament.
Tournament seeding is based purely on Billboard Hot 100 chart performance. The higher the peak Hot 100 chart position and the longer the song was on the chart, the higher the seed. @ us all you want with your comments about this methodology.
however, there are a lot of bad songs below
So we’d love to publish essays by anyone interested in writing about one of them (whether or not you think it’s a bad song, whatever that means to you), to publish on the website pre-tournament. Or pitch us something on a song not on our short- or long-list, or on some aspect of badness in general. Hit us up at marchxness—at—thediagram.com or on twitter.
Air Supply, Sweet Dreams
Bad English, When I See You Smile
Edward Bear, The Last Song
Bread, Baby I’m A Want You
Bread, If
Chicago, You’re the Inspiration
The Commodores, Three Times a Lady
Mac Davis, Baby Don’t Get Hooked on Me
El DeBarge, Who’s Johnny
DeFranco Family, Heartbeat—It’s a Lovebeat
Teri Desario with KC, Yes I’m Ready
Neil Diamond, Heartlight
Neil Diamond, Love on the Rocks
Carl Douglas, Kung Fu Fighting
Dr. Hook, Sylvia’s Mother
Duran Duran, The Reflex
Exile, Kiss You All Over
Dan Fogelberg, Longer
Samantha Fox, Touch Me (I Want Your Body)
David Geddes, Run Joey Run
Grand Funk Railroad, Some Kind of Wonderful
George Harrison, Got My Mind Set on You
Clint Holmes, Playground In My Mind
Elton John, Island Girl
Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam, All Cried Out
Little River Band, Reminiscing
KC and the Sunshine Band, Please Don’t Go
Kenny Loggins and Stevie Nicks, Whenever I Call You “Friend”
Mary MacGregor, Torn Between Two Lovers
Madonna, La Isla Bonita
Madonna, True Blue
Richard Marx, Satisfied
Peter McCann, Do You Wanna Make Love
Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, Ebony & Ivory (we’ll have an essay on this one forthcoming)
Maureen McGovern, The Morning After
Sister Janet Mead, The Lord’s Prayer
Sergio Mendes, Never Gonna Let You Go
Bette Midler, The Wind Beneath My Wings
Maria Muldaur, Midnight at the Oasis
Walter Murphy, A Fifth of Beethoven
Oak Ridge Boys, Elvira
Olivia Newton-John, Have You Never Been Mellow
Tony Orlando, Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree
The Osmonds, Yo-Yo
Alan O’Day, Undercover Angel
Eddie Rabbitt, I Love a Rainy Night
Roger, I Want To Be Your Man
Kenny Rogers, Lady
Ringo Starr, You’re Sixteen
Neil Sedaka, Bad Blood
Neil Sedaka, Laughter in the Rain
Sheriff, When I’m With You
Silver Convention, Get Up and Boogie
Phoebe Snow, Poetry Man
Starbuck, Moonlight Feels Right
Ray Stevens, The Streak (we’ll have an essay on this one forthcoming)
Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond, You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
Johnny Taylor, Disco Lady
Tiffany, Could’ve Been
Wang Chung, Everybody Have Fun Tonight
Will to Power, Baby I Love Your Way (Freebird Medley)
Bruce Willis, Respect Yourself